Girl with no posters: In junior high kid I insisted on clear wheels for my Razor scooter so they’d match all my outfits. It wasn’t just scoots around the neighborhood, I was giving a moment. But when you looked at the other side of that story I was at a baseline of petrified, riddled with fear and anxiety. “If I stood for this, that would take me out of that.” So why not make the choice that encompasses it all? The 13 year old schemes into her Lisa Frank. That’s the right choice!

Looking back, anxiety and stress buzzed in the background of my brain, at the sleepover where I had to profess my crush, declare which Spice Girl I was, or whether I was Team Backstreet Boys or N’Sync. How could I be expected to make such a bold stance like that? At this age, with so little life experience? Please. I knew better than that, nice try.

Hi, My name is Meredith and I’m an ex-people pleaser. Ever since I can remember I strived for neutrality. I’d probably call it something like, “I get along with anybody!” or “Everyone’s Best Friend” to be my high school superlative. But now I’m left staring at a blank wall. Turns out aiming for the center of that xy axis graph keeps your results at 0,0. Here I am to move the needle as far away from 0 as possible, and tell my ex-people pleasing self to just put a fucking poster on the wall.